The one Shot of doom
by PurpleMoon3
Summary: Just a one shot that i've been debating on posting. Utterly stupid and pointless, it crosses over many different books and anime's. Harry Potter, Ranma, Card Captor Sakura, and whatever else I put in here. Review if you like it.


When you push the people-who-just-wont-die to far.  
  
One Shot. I do not own any of the characters in this fic. This is just something I thought up while playing DoA beach volleyball. I most likely  
am going to miss-spell lots so don't kill me.  
  
Harry Potter  
  
Harry Potter was in potions. He was minding his own business (for once not  
thinking about saving the world) when Professor Snape leaned over. "Potter! I specifically said to stir the fried bat in a little at a time  
not all at once! Ten points from Gryfindor!"  
Harry looked into his potion, then back at the board. He did the same thing again. He raised his hand. "Excuse me professor," the class gasped,  
Harry never asked Snape anything, "but the potion looks just like it's  
supposed to, smells like it too." Snape scowled. "Obviously Potter, you don't know anything. You can look  
in your book and find exactly what I told you. This potion needs to be  
dumped. Five points from Gryfindor." Harry narrowed his eyes he could feel his hatred for Snape building. "Have you ever made cookies professor? I have, but in the directions they say to add the flour a little at a time. You don't have to, if you dump it in all  
at once it is a bit harder to stir but comes out the same." Snape pointed his wand at the cauldron and whispered the spell. The potion vanished. "Twenty points from Gryfindor for that useless cooking lesson."  
Harry had it. He could here the Slytherins laughing. 'I'll give them  
something to laugh about...Dudley did teach me how to box someone this  
summer.' He thought. Harry walked slowly over to Draco. Draco smiled, showing his perfectly white and straight teeth. "Having a little trouble finding the flour Potter? You should go ask your House Elf  
friends, I'm sure they would love to have an extra pair of hands!" The  
rest of the Slytherins laughed, Snape ignored the comment.  
"You know what Malfloy, I've been wanting to do this for a long time." Harry reached into his pocket, as if grabbing for a wand. Malfloy reached  
for his and the room went quiet. "Boys! Back to your potions! Five  
points from Gryfindor."  
Harry formed his other hand (everyone was looking at the one in the pocket.) into a fist and punched Malfloy in the gut. Draco fell forward only to be stopped by Harry's other fist coming into his face. He would be missing some of those perfect teeth come morning. Snape snapped for Goyle  
to get Malfloy to Hospital Wing, he was unconscious. "Potter! 50 point from Gryfindor I("Snape didn't finnish as Harry faced him and kicked his legs out from under him. Harry was small, but he was by no means weak. Years of chores and little food, but nutritious, gave him lean muscles. The boy-who-lived then punched his teacher in the face and slammed his forearm into the downed man. The potions master was not built for physical combat, all he did during the day was stand around and yell at  
people. When Harry saw that the wind was firmly knocked out of the man he nodded to himself and left the room. He had it with these people bossing him around, treating him like a stupid little kid and expecting him to behave like some righteous old guy. 'Maybe Voldermort would like some help taking over..." he thought as he packed his things. Hedwig flew in and started pecking at his head, she seemed to say, 'WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING LEAVING' Harry pulled out his want. "Flamoria" The owl abruptly burst into flames.  
0_o  
  
Ranma1/2  
  
Ranma lay back on the roof. It was quite up here, and no one would bother him unless they had a reason. "Ranma, could you take this to Doctor Tofu's for me?" Called Kasumi. Ranma nodded his consent and hopped down to take  
the basket.  
"What's in it Kasumi?" "Oh, just some cookies. I have extra you can have when you get back." The  
eldest Tendo daughter smiled and walked back in the house. 'When she  
smiles like that she looks just as cute as Akane does...' he thought.  
Ranma went to Tofu's and dropped of the basket of goodies. The doctor started talking to his skeleton when Ranma told him who sent it. The pig- tailed boy left and decided to stop by Ucchans. But before he could get  
there shampoo appeared. 'She looks kind of down, that's not normal.' Ranma thought, and Shampoo  
truly was not happy. The girl's shoulders were slumped, she moved in a practiced stance, but the energy was gone. The cat-cursed girl didn't even look up when she passed her fiancé. 'Okay, now I know something is wrong.' Ranma walked up to the girl, and hugged her. It wasn't a tight hug, just something he saw Kasumi do to Akane when she feeling down. Shampoo looked up, about to give a beating to the person who dare touch her, when she saw  
Ranma. "Ranma? What you doing?" Not that she minded, she liked it, but she was  
curious. "What's got you upset? I never seen you like this, it has me  
worried." He answered. Shampoo teared up.  
"Airen ask about Shampoo?" She smiled, "Shampoo here that father just  
died. Phoenix attack. Great-grandmother just tell..." The girl lost her  
smile and fell into his arms and cried.  
"Come on Sham-Chan, let's go to Ucchans, eat something. You'll feel  
better." The boy let the girl cry as he led her to the restaurant. When they entered Ukyo looked up from cleaning the grill. She saw Ranma holding Shampoo and was about to berate him, when she saw the tears. The chef softened and made an extra special dish for the girl. She walked over  
and set the food and drinks down on the table.  
"What's up sugar? Stop crying, there that's better."  
"Why rival being nice to Shampoo?" "Let's just say I don't hate you." The Amazon bobbed her head and told her story. The group agreed to stop all fiancé attempts for at least a week, and started up a conversation of different fighting techniques. Ranma knew the most, but Ukyo had one of the most unique while Shampoo had the most powerful. They came to the conclusion that they were even matched, except that Ranma's school was more flexible, and that was part of the reason he  
was so good. "But Angry-Mallet-Girl practice school and she worth shit." Said Shampoo.  
"Well, she just sucks." Replied Ukyo. Ranma thought about it. "Nah, she just refuses to listen when people try to correct her. She could  
be good." He said. "Speak of the Devil," said Ukyo. "And he will come." Finished Ranma. "Or  
in this case she." Snickered Shampoo.  
Akane Tendo was on a warpath. She had just been told that Ranma, HER Ranma, was eating with those two bimbos! She was going to mallet him into space this time. Akane swung open the door. "RANMA! Get away from those two whores!" The two girls stood up from there seats with weapons in hand.  
"Akane. What is your problem Tomboy? We were just talking."  
"Talking? HA! I bet you were doing more then just talking!" The angry girl pulled out her chi-mallet and and hefted it on her shoulder. "I guess cross dressers like to talk huh? But why the stupid foreigner?" She said  
venomously. Shampoo clutched her bombori in a death grip. Ukyo had it with her. She walked forward with her battle spatula. In Ranma's mind Akane crossed an  
invisible line. His face darkened. "Tendo-San, Never insult Ukyo like that. And Shampoo is NOT stupid. Can't you see she's hurting?" His aura flared around him,  
but his voice was filled with cold. "Tendo-San, Leave my property now or I am calling the police." Said Ukyo just as coolly. Akane screamed and left, she promised Nabiki she wouldn't  
drag up the cost of bribing the cops again.  
When Ranma did go back, after dropping off Shampoo, his mom, Mr.Tendo's  
demon head, his father, and an angry Akane about to punt him into LEO  
confronted him.  
"How dare you treat me like that!"  
"You must marry my daughter!"  
"IS this how little your honor means to you!"  
"Son, you know you must commit Seppuku..." she fingered the blade. They all got closer and closer until..."Damn it! I refuse to acknowledge the  
engagement after what she did!" Nadoka stepped forward. "Son, you must come with me if you don't..." Ranma spun to face her, the mother he didn't even know for so much of his life. "Saotome-San, you were dead to me then, you are dead to me now." He raised his hand and sent an anger-focused chi blast down her throat. She dropped  
dead. Every one stopped and stared. Where was the Ranma they could push around? "And you! I can't believe I thought you were cute." He grabbed Akane's  
wrists and broke them. "Can't use that damn mallet now can you?" "The schools must be joined!" Cried Tendo hysterically as he knelted down  
by his daughter.  
"Oh get a life!" Ranma punted the elder Tendo out of the house.  
He saw his father sneaking out the door. "Not to fast old man." Ranma grabbed him by his gi and dropped him in the pond. A wet Panda came out.  
"Now what to do with you..." Kasumi walked out holding a butcher Knife. Ranma blinked, he liked Kasumi, surely she wouldn't try to fight him? "Ranma-Kun, give him to me, I have an old recipe for curry panda." Ranma whistled as the oldest Tendo girl  
swiftly skinned, killed, and cooked his father.  
"How's Nabiki? Will she be joining us for dinner?"  
"No, I'm afraid not. When she saw what you did to Akane she packed her bags muttering about how she should have listened to the small voice in her  
head."  
Ranma picked up a piece of meat and popped it in his mouth. "This is  
pretty good." Kasumi snorted. "It should be! That man made me have to get 3 part time  
jobs so I could keep his fat belly full! He better taste good!"  
In the next few days, there were 6 deaths reported on the news. Kasumi  
said she had to fulfill her fathers dying wish, 'let the schools be united'. Ranma said he could care less at what that old baby wanted but he and Kasumi were engaged anyway. Ranma, Kasumi, Shampoo, and Ukyo all went to London, they heard a rumor of a school of magic that way. They hoped it  
could remove Shampoo and Ranma's curses. ^(^  
  
***Card Captor Sakura  
  
Sakura finished transforming the light and dark cards. Her whole body ached and she was dead tired. The small girl would have collapsed if it  
weren't for Li holding her up. Suddenly anger boiled in her. Sakura Kinomoto, saw red. Her eyes stared hate at the reincarnation of Clow. She clenched her wand and snapped it in two! "Bastard! You endangered my friends! You manipulated me! You never  
even asked! DIE!!!!"  
With a yell, Sakura held the jump card between two fingers. It glowed briefly and she jumped the distance to Eriol. Kero blinked in shock at how  
his mistresses power level seemed to leap so suddenly.  
Kero and Yue exchanged a look. Their former Master, Clow, did have problems but this was unforgivable. Sakura was not even a teenager yet,  
and he put all these obstacles for her. It was the guardians duty to  
protect and keep her happy, was it not? Li could only stare mutely as he saw his love fight wonderfully against his distant relative. Sakura started off the battle with a few fireballs fired off at her opponent. They hit their target, but only because Clow was a  
little shocked. He easily blocked the next volley of burning death. Sakura growled and spun around. Two wings of water sprouted from her back  
and carried her trough the air. "Sakura-Chan! I know you must seem a bit traumatized after the ordeal, you really must come down and listen to me. You are to weak to stop me! I am the strongest magician ever and ever will be!" Eriol laughed and waved his hands. He looked over his shoulder to see Kero and Yue fighting Ruby and  
Spinner. Kero and Yue were fighting a painfully one sided battle, they were winning. 'How???' was all that the reincarnation could think as he  
was incased in a globe of water. Sakura's clothing had changed to something not unlike what a Sakura/Clow card would wear. She had a dark pink tight tank top, and a loose pair of  
cotton like black pants. In her hair was a headdress of gold stars and suns. "I am the weak one Clow? I hear the cards speaking, and the voices in my head don't like you." A card materialized in her hand and she sent  
it out to globe of water.  
The card she threw was the Shot. As soon as it hit the water it sent hundreds of volts of electricity through the water. Sakura recalled her cards and a dead body dropped to the ground. Red faded from her vision and  
she ran toward her brother and friends. Sakura walked to the beaten and bloody Ruby and Spaniel after attending her  
friends. "Your Master is dead."  
Ruby took a hard look and swallowed. She knelt down. "I serve the Mistress of the Cards. Sakura Kinomoto." Kero's counterpart repeated the motion. Sakura nodded. She then promptly fell down dazed. "We should go  
to Eroils old place and take his stuff heh..." she fell asleep.  
  
***Wheel of Time Rand was on the run. He had finally got away from those bloody border man that just HAD to swear to him. Of all the things to happen, that REALLY SUCKED. He heard a howl off in the woods and groaned. It was F****** Dark hounds again. He readied himself to cast some balefire, when he tripped. The Dragon Reborn fell, while he shot out a white beam of death. It carved  
out a hole in space and time, that he feel through, the last thing he  
thought before hitting the ground was, "Shit."  
  
Epilogue: Wow, the fun part. Here is what happened, as you all know our characters used don't care much about gold and riches. They just really  
want to kick some butt and let out the pent up frustration. Harry meets up with Rand (he fell through to our world) and they go to find out if Voldermort wants any help. The Dark Lord is surprised, but when he  
learns about WHERE magic comes from, he is more than happy to let Harry train with him and Rand General. Rand Now enjoys going on random outings and 'wandlessly' casting curses to have fun. Harry learns much and plans  
revenge.  
Sakura did go to the guys old home and puts all his things in a bank account/storage. She is now rich, and has complete control over her magic.  
She, Tomoyo, and Li (with magical beasts) meet Rand on one his 'Excursions' and when Rand learns about how Sakura has HER, magic he gets  
happy and invites her to join. She accepts and now is one of the head death eaters. Japan however has become officially non-attackable. Rand  
and Harry start experimenting on making new sources of power.  
Ranma and Co. FINALLY get to London. They have HIGH power that all magically endowed people can feel and are randomly attacked in the streets for being A) Demon B) Vampire C)Boggart or other shape changing monster D)  
Death Eater As you can imagine Ranma and Ryoga (who is secretly in love with-SHAMPOO)  
get annoyed with the 'weak stick people' and start breaking necks. Li hears of the Marital Arts they use and finds them, explains some things,  
and gets them to join what is now being called "The army of the Bright Darkness" or just THEM, cuz like he-who-must-not-be-named EVERYONE knows who THEY are. Now the Generals of THEM are RANMA (Ukyo partners with him he has command of the martial artists and Phoenixes), RYOGA (he works great  
with the weaker wizards and gets them to 'pump up' their spells with depression), SHAMPOO (duh Amazons), SAKURA (Li helps Sakura she has a group of strong Wizards) KASUMI, (surprise she has got MAJIOR battle info in her head works with Nabiki sometimes using people in the black market) RAND (he  
trains people to draw from Saidin with out the 'stupid stick things')  
HARRY (he doesn't have one solid group, but he borrows from the other  
people and HE takes out Hog warts).  
The world is concurred (Except for JAPAN and AUSTRAILA who signed peace treaty. Basically THEY just wanted to root out all magics and rule them.) Harry gets Africa, why we don't know. Rand creates his own power by mixing Saidin with Chi and gets Europe, cuz he liked the castles. (He calls it Rand-Land) Ranma and Kasumi get the U.S.A. cuz they felt much potential in the peeps there. (note: Many Americans cared less about the war and half the army joined the other side, they don't consider themselves defeated, just annexed.) Shampoo took half of China and Alaska, for abvious reasons.  
(Further the amazon EMPIRE!) Ryoga, he got south America and Central  
America, but he isn't there much. Sakura and Friends got A few middle  
Eastern Countries.  
Voldermort rules everything else and likes it that way. He can suggest something and his generals will do it, they are not to picky about their countries. Rand decides he wants to go back to his own world and kill the Dark One there (said he was bored). He takes about 3 years to figure out how to open the portal, goes back. Turns out only 6 weeks have passed in  
his home world. So with Chi, Magic, Guns, and fists, Rand takes over,  
kills the D.O. breaks Callandor. Now Rand-Land has grown and he gives  
places to his friends but keeps the waste and Two Rivers for himself.  
  
END 


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